FORM 5.3A Appendix to Custody Order

Certain rules of conduct generally applicable to custody matters are set forth below and are binding on both parties,

the breach of which could become the subject of contempt proceedings before this Court, or could constitute grounds for amendment of our order. If these general rules conflict with the specific requirements of our Order, the Order shall prevail.

1. Neither party will undertake nor permit in his or her presence the poisoning of the minor children's minds against

the other party by conversation which explicitly or inferentially derides, ridicules, condemns, or in any manner

derogates the other party.

2. The parties shall not conduct arguments or heated conversation when they are together in the presence of their

children.

3. Neither party will question the children as to the personal lives of the other parent except insofar as necessary to

insure the personal safety of the children. By this we mean that the children will not be used as spies on the other party. It is harmful to a child to be put in the role of ``spy''.

4. Neither party will make extravagant promises to the minor children for the purposes of ingratiating himself or

herself to the minor children at the expense of the other party; further, any reasonable promise to the children should be made with the full expectation of carrying it out.

5. The parties should at all times consider the child or children's best interests, and act accordingly. It is in a child's

best interests to understand that he or she is trying desperately to cope with the fact of his parents' separation, and needs help in loving both parents, rather than interference or censure.

6. The partes should remember that they cannot teach their children proper moral conduct by indulging in improper

conduct themselves. Children are quick to recognize hypocrisy, and the parent who maintains a double standard will

lose the respect of his or her child.

7. Weekend and evening visitation shall be subject to the following rules:A. Arrangements will be worked out

beforehand between the parties without forcing the children to make choices and run the risk of parental displeasure.

However, the children shall be consulted as to their schedules.B. Visitation rights should be exercised at reasonable

hours and under circumstances reasonably acceptable to the other party and to the needs and desires of the minor

children.C. If a party finds him or herself unable to keep an appointment, he or she should give immediate notice to the other party, so as to avoid subjecting the children to unnecessary apprehension and failure of expectations. D. The party having custody of the children should prepare them both physically and mentally for the visitation with the other party and have them available at the time and place mutually agreed upon.E. If either party or a child has plans which conflict with a scheduled visit and wish to adjust such visitation, the parties should make arrangements for an adjustment acceptable to the schedules of every one involved. Predetermined schedules are not written in stone, and both parties should be flexible for the sake of the children.F. If a party shows up for a visit under the influence of alcohol or drugs, the visit may be considered forfeited on those grounds alone.

8. During the time that a child is living with a party, that party has the responsibility of imposing and enforcing the

rules for day-today living. However, unless otherwise ordered, both parents should consult with one another on the

major decisions affecting the children's lives, such as education, religious training, medical treatment, and so forth.